Sammy the Scrum-half got married but, unusually for a rugby player, he was completely innocent, and so he asked his mother on the wedding day, 'I know there's something I'm supposed to do when I get into bed with Sharon tonight, but I'm not quite sure what it is.'
'Well, son,' said his mother, 'you simply put your . . . you know . . . the hardest part of yourself into her . . . into the place where she wee-wees.'
At the honeymoon hotel that night, they had to call for an ambulance. Sammy had got his head stuck in a chamber pot.
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